Aftermaths
by snake screamer
Summary: A series of drabbles base on the ending from episode of season 6 (Starting with episode 3). (I would like to thank Red witch for scenes for the first chapter.)
1. Chapter 1

"So Lana getting out today." Ray said

"Really," Pam said as she and ray were sitting on the couch of the agency "I wonder if her time behind bar change her, possibly a smoker now, Possibly open to my idea about a three-way."

"What?"

"What," Pam said defensively "What did I say?"

"Oh never mind, personally I'm hoping she hold off beating Archer for the right time, i need to win the office potluck, though fat chance of that since he decided to tell her about his decision to send his daughter to public school." Ray sighed.

"Personally I agree with Archer sending her to public school. Considering how private school(s) molded him to be like that. Not to mention the fact if you consider both Krieger and Cheryl also went to private school... well i think their actions speak for themselves" Pam said gesturing to the other room where Cheryl was sniffing glue and Krieger arguing with his virtual girlfriend again.

"Okay I see your point about private school." Ray admitted "But still you know Lana going to be pissed when she get out of there."

"Why do you think he told her earlier when there's a thick glass and a bunch of guards between them." Pam said

"Also good point." Ray said

"I'm just surprise they let her out so early, especially with Shapiro vowing for her. I mean i get he a lawyer but what with his poor decision making and how he probably still mad we poison his dogs, i was positive that she would have been stuck for at least a month."

"You would think so, except for one thing." Ray stated "Apparently this headmaster gets at least thirty to forty mothers barging in on him at all hours a year trying to get their kids into his fancy school! Some of them have actually broken into his house!"

"Okay, I get why he was freaked but still," Pam frowned. "All she was doing was giving him some pastries. She didn't even break in!"

"Welcome to LA..." Ray sighed. "Now you know why I wear my glove all the time..." They could hear people arguing as they enter the office "Well looks like they got back quicker then i thought."

"Welcome back Lana is the New Black!" Pam called out.

"Hey guys..." Lana sighed "You can't believe some of the things that happen to me in that place."

"Oh relax Lana!" Archer barked. "You weren't even in there for three days! You'd been imprisoned longer in actual dungeons with worse accommodations! Heck i know for a fact that California law says prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates."

"That's a thing?" Pam said

"Apparently." Archer shrugged

"Okay admittedly it wasn't all bad..." Lana admitted. "Especially when the other inmates found out what I was in for. Did you know there's an actual prison gang of mothers who broke into that guy's house to get their kids into that school?"

"Told you," Ray said to Pam.

"Let me guess," Pam spoke up. "They were all white and were thrilled they had a big black woman in their club?"

"It didn't hurt," Lana shrugged.

"I can't believe you were arrested!" Mallory snapped. "The shame of it all!"

"Said the woman arrested for treason," Lana gave her a look.

"Oh right," Mallory frowned. "Though technically it was fake being arrested for treason..."

"So you could illegally sell cocaine for the CIA." Lana said

"Which middle-middle-middle landed you blacklisted." Ray added

"Details." Mallory waved her hands dismissively. "Point is I wasn't technically arrested for treason, you though got arrested for breaking and entering while carrying a gun on your person instead of leaving it in your car."

"Okay now that slightly makes more sense why she got send to jail instead of getting a fine for stalking." Pam stated.

"Don't pin all this on me Mallory! I wouldn't have been there in the first place if you hadn't blown the interview!" Lana said

"How is this my fault?" Mallory asked defensively

"Besides insulting the headmaster with your racist attitude?" Archer pointed out.

"I was just confused about the whole exclusivity thing..."

"That joke you made about the Irish Priest and the rabbi at the beginning didn't exactly help!" Lana snapped

"I was just trying to lighten the mood!" Mallory stated

"You didn't!"

"If anything Mother you weighed the mood down with a pair of cement shoes!" Archer added

"Sinking AJ's career path with it..." Lana sighed

"Not necessarily, if Sterling's friend Ivy is on the board." Mallory said

Archer hissed as he tentatively said "No... see he's dead. He sort of killed himself... by trying to kill me too by driving over a cliff..."

"WHAT!?" Lana shouted

"Sterling Mallory Archer what did you do now?" Mallory angrily asked

"Funny story..."

 _30 minutes later_

"So basically you got involved in murder plot, robbed and destroyed a house and saw more evidence of the Longwater thing but didn't get it?" Mallory said

"That last part was Cyril's fault!"

"You let Cyril go get evidence?" Lana asked incredulously.

"I didn't know their was even evidence, especially from that case. If i did, i would've grabbed it, instead of procuring the escape car and forcing Cyril getting the money." Archer said defensively.

"We're lucky he got any money at all! Sterling how could you be so careless?" Mallory asked annoyed

"Do you mean that rhetorically or..."

"That reminds me, there's something I forgot to tell you when you visited me in prison." Lana said

"Really What?" Archer asked curiously

"THIS!" Lana roared as she tackled Archer and started to seriously lay on the smackdown.

"OW! Lana cut it- YOW!" Archer grunted in pain

"Ugh..." Mallory said as she took a seat, she then notice Pam and Ray "You two are still here? I thought you quietly left when i didn't heard a statler and waldorf routine"

"What can we say, it was a interesting story." Pam said

"Plus i needed to wait to see if the beatdown was coming or not. Guess who won the office potluck." Ray said happily.

"Sigh, someone take me away from this stupidity." Mallory grunted, unaware of a small listening device in the office.

* * *

"Oh don't worry Mallory..." A mechanical voice said snidely. "I'll take you away soon enough. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA COUGH KAFF." the voice stopped as it started coughing profusely, though stop as he realize something. "Wait why am i coughing? I don't have lungs, at least i don't think i have lungs, do i have lungs? Other Barry I asked you a question!"


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe you were trying to shoot me." Mallory grumbled

"You were in a truck, how was i suppose to know it was you." Ron said defensively.

"And that's another thing, why were you shooting at me just cause you thought i was a trucker." Mallory snapped "When were you ever afraid of truckers."

"I'm not afraid of truckers, just healthy cautious is all..." Ron said

"HAH, next you be saying you were attack by derange crossdressers." Mallory sighed

"Well..." Ron began to say.

"Nevermind were here." Mallory sighed as they reached the office. "And i can't wait till i hear there excuse for not helping me while i was missing."

(In the basement)

"No Krieger, i don't care what you say i want them gone." Cyril said, he and the other were in the basement as Pam was trying to fix the generator

"Why do you care if i have mask of you all." Krieger said

"And hands, don't forget hands." Cheryl said

"Well Krieger, perhaps i find it disturbing you made realistic copies of three of our body parts for a reason you have yet to tell us." Cyril said

"Look don't worry about it, this is like the least dangerous thing i ever made." Krieger said

"He has a point, it not like his cyborg experiment, his mutation experiment, or even his cloning experiments." Lana said

"Yeah Cyril, your just mad that Barry took yours." Archer said

"No i'm not." Cyril said annoyed

"Btw anyone else got a serial killer vibe from barry, that mask definitely didn't fit him." Ray piped him.

"Right!" Archer added

"At least he didn't went other barry talk this time." Lana said

"Yeah, i wonder why he didn't do that this time." Ray said

(Linebreak)

"Barry is still not talking to you other Barry, cause you still refuse to answer my question about the lung thing!" Barry snapped as he started repair on his limbs "Now shut up so i can work on my body so i can meet my mother."

(Linebreak)

"Who cares, point it not about Barry taking my face and hands!" Cyril

"Here's a thought, how about doing this argument upstair and let me fix the damn thing in piece." Pam snapped.

"No way Pam, its too hot up there." Archer said

"Yeah, and whose fault is that, mr wanting to pull a edison on a elephant." Pam snapped

"Okay, does everyone know about the elephant thing but me?" Krieger asked. "cause i'm seriously asking."

"Its not a real thing Krieger, yes they used Edison tech for it but only due to the elephant killing alot of people and wanting to kill it humanely as possible." Lana said annoyed

before anyone can dispute that they heard Mallory shouting about where they were and why the light weren't working. "Welp looks like Mrs. Archer back." Pam said

"Dang it." Cheryl sighed "I really wanted her to be gone longer then that."

"Shut up." Archer said."So who should go up their and greet her."

Everyone didn't say anything.

"What nobody?"

"Why don't you go up their, your her kid." Ray said

"Yeah, but Barry might have implied it was me that cause that situation, and i want to wait till she calm down enough not to beat me shitless"

"Well were not going up there, she going to blame us for doing nothing as she got out. And i doubt she'll take the excuse of helping Barry find his mom and not try to find her as an excuse." Pam said

"She is pretty unreasonable in the morning." Archer nodded.

"Yeah and remember what happen on the day before she got kidnapped by Barry." Lana said

(Flashback)

 _"I swear the CIA screw me over by not just killing me and leaving me with you idiots." Mallory growled finishing her rant. she stopped however when she noticed no one was listening, with Ray even listening to something on wireless headphones._

 _"Why you little." she growed as she ripped them out._

 _"Hey!" Ray snapped "Careful i just bought those!"_

 _"What the heck are you doing." Mallory growled_

 _"Tuning you out." Pam said_

 _"What, why." Mallory said annoyed_

 _"Mallory it not you it just-" Lana try to reason but Archer cut her off. "We heard this rant so many time, its like your fetish."_

 _"WHAT!" Mallory shouted_

 _"We had work now, we have connections, and as much as it pains me to say it, pam posters are working. yet you continue to whine about the cia and blacklisting." Archer said annoyed_

 _"That cause detective work is pathetic, what are we trying to do, get some poor housewife dirt on her cheating husband."_

 _"Wasn't one of the CIA mission with you spying to see if a senator was cheating with his wife?"_

 _"I said poor wife, poor being the keyword! and how did you know- KRIEGER!"_

 _"Oh come on, you chose me for that one instead of Archer, i had to brag abit." Krieger said_

 _"You did use him alot during the CIA missions." Cyril said_

 _"You stay out of this! and as for the rest of you, i should-"_

 _"You can't replace us cause were the only who stuck with you after all your bad decision that all your contacts know." Everyone said blandly at the same time_

 _Mallory eye twitch._

 _Noticing how she looked ready to shoot someone Lana again try to do this diplomatically."Look Mallory, we get it your very stress and we might have... provoke you a few time accidentally during this transition-_

 _"HAH! ACCIDENTA-" Pam quickly punch Cheryl before she could finish that sentence_

 _"So maybe you should take a nice evening off, and get a good night sleep." Lana said calmly._

 _Mallory didn't say anything she then pulled out her gun making everyone flinch but calmly handed it to Lana "I also want Krieger to look at my gun, i think there something wrong with the trigger."_

 _"I'll get right on it." Krieger said_

 _"Good cause i am going home early, i might as well catch up on some of my reading if i'm stuck in LA." Mallory sighed as she began to leave._

 _Archer made sure he was completely gone before saying "Well i don't know about you guy but i'm going to get shit-faced drunk tonight after work, whose with me!"_

 _"YEAH!"_

 _(End flashback)_

"Oh yeah that right, well we could at least point out she stupidly left her gun here so Krieger can fix it. that might buy us a few minutes without her realizing we purposely stressed her out and convincing her to leave early so we can get drunk and party" Archer said

"Why did i let you idiot talk me into doing that, i run this place." Cyril said

"Cause you were tired of her blaming us for the CIA blaming thing too and you know it" Ray said

"Oh crap i just remember..." Krieger said scared

"What?"

"I completely forget to fix her gun." Krieger sighed

 _Ribbit_

"Yes i know it was a stupid thing to do now, thanks for the berating froggy." Krieger muttered

* * *

"Seriously where are those idiots. I have a few choice words for them." Mallory growled

"Maybe their out looking for you." Ron stated

"HAH!"

"No i'm serious, for whatever insane reason you lot stick together like glue even though you drive each other insane."

"Hmm... that true, unfortunately." Mallory muttered the last part under her breath

"Listen we both haven't eaten yet, so how about we get a bite to eat first then come back to see if their here."

"Well alright. but that doesn't mean i'm letting them off the hook." Mallory stated as she and Ron began to leave

* * *

"Okay look like she's gone for the moment, which just leaves one thing." Archer said as he raised his hand "Rock paper scissor to see who has to greet her after the barry fiasco first and take the blunt of her anger."


	3. Chapter 3

_there are three fanfic reference to my fanfic prisoners exchange and Ray Gillette, Relationship Counselor and Dr Krieger's Amazing Feel Good Frozen Die Eiscreme by Red Witch. And yes... as you can probably guess these chapter are not in chronological order of this season so please bare with me._

Ray whistled abit as he enter his LA apartment "Today a good day, i mean aside from that Mrs. Archer scare and seeing that dick Slater again, i get to avoid Krieger stupid show and enjoy a bath time without having to listen to everyone bitching and moaning."

a short while later Ray is preparing his bath he briefly worried that Archer, Lana or Krieger would called again 'Then again they might not, they seem to have bonded after they save Slater... plus Krieger will be busy playing with the others... maybe it won't hapen this time.' Ray mentally reassured himself.

But just as he was getting in, his cellphone rang. "Every time, they call me everytime in the bath tub." Ray muttered as he picked it up "What!?"

"Well hello to you to." Archer said

"What stupid thing do you do this time?" Ray sighed

"What makes you think I did it?" Archer said

"Look we can both play the whole flash back scene, but I rather cut to the grit already."

"Fine... so first off I admitted to Lana I miss part of torture resistance training."

"You did- which one?" Ray questioned

"Waterboarding." Archer said

"Ohh..." Ray winced already guessing what going to happen. "She force you didn't she."

"Yes... and whoever said that guy has a vagina if there afraid of waterboarding are idiot." Archer said

"You said it didn't you?" Ray deadpanned

"That besides the point." Archer said "And I kinda admitted the thing we talked about when you acted all conseloring."

"Wha- you told her your complicated feeling for Veronica Deane!?" Ray asked shocked

"I was waterboarded!" Archer snapped

"Goddamn... was she mad?" Ray asked

"What do you think!? and so... middle middle middle, were back where we started."

"... what you mean were unblack listed or you guys are broken up."

"She said we are on break. So i'm assuming... yes to the latter. Also Slater conned us cause he admitted to not paying us even if the mission went well anyway."

"Wait what? what you mean by went-"

"Look I have to go, I'm hiding for a few day till the heat dies down cause I just know Lana told Mother about the waterboarding thing."

"And how do you know if she didn't, i would after you admitted it?" Ray questioned

"Cause I know you missed one part of torture training as well." Archer said "Anywho have to go." the phone clicked

"... touch'e." Ray muttered. he was about to put his cellphone away but the phone ranged again. "Like clockwork."Ray muttered as he answered it "Yes?"

"Can you believe that sonuvabitch!" Lana snapped

"Let me guess Archer?"'

"No but he a VERY close second. That bitch Slater, refuse to pay us after we helped him, even admitting he wouldn't do so in the first place!"

"The man from the CIA who hates our guts lied to us? what a shocker." Ray said deadpanned

"I mean the MK Ultra guy died even though Slater wanted him alive but other than that it was a salvageable mission by our standards, but no he decided to let petty hatred rule his decision." Lana growled. "And don't get me started on Archer and his stupid obsession with Veronica Deane."

"Finally admitted did he?" Ray questioned

"With a little prompting." Lana admitted, with a shifty tone of voice

"Uh-huh." Ray said, already knowing it was more than a little prompting but avoiding it. "So what now? you guys on break?"

"Oh yeah, and i'm going to make Archer pay for his little crush, he's vying for Dean, i'll hit on her hot ex-husband." Lana snapped

"Only going to make the situation worse." Ray said snidely.

"Nono I have it all planned out. all I need is to wait." Lana hanged up her phone.

Ray waited a few minutes but then heard the phone ranged up. "Hello Krieger?"

"Are you hiding him?" Mallory growled

"Mrs. Archer!" Ray said surprised, that one he was not expecting "Your awake?"

"Yes i'm awake, don't act that surprise, it's only 8 pm. secondly where is that idiot son of mine?" Mallory growled "Lana told me he skipped on waterboarding!"

"... Lana told you?" Ray questioned slowly

"Yes?"

"... and she didn't mention anything... odd about your situation?" Ray asked

"Me being in my own house watching mad man with my husband? How is that odd?"

"What!" Ray said

"Okay, you've obviously taken some of Cheryl 'candies' and since the other idiots are avoiding there phones... looks like i'm doing it the old fashion way." Mallory muttered as she hunged up

"... I don't know how Krieger did that, but i'm honestly now more than curious as to how he mind controlled her and made Lana not noticed." Ray said dialing Krieger numbers

"Yessss?" Krieger whimsically said

"Krieger, you know how people weirdly call me in the bathtub and bitch about stuff... wait are you in a bathtub?"

"Nope trying to find my virtual wife, i swore I have memories of seeing her in LA yet can't remember if I brought her... think i ate too many of my own amnesia ice cream." Krieger muttered

"Listen did you send Archer mother home after making that video?" Ray questioned

"... Why" Krieger questioned suspiciously.

"Cause Mrs. Archer called asking me where her idiot son is." Ray said

"ruined another CIA mission huh." Krieger said "I know his mission success ratio has been shot more than usual when the cia picked us up but right at the bat, yikes."

"Yeah but I can't exactly cried about it since the MK ultra guys deserve to get killed." Ray said "But that besides the point, how were you able to plop her back home, without Ray or Lana noticing she brainwash." Ray said

"I just told her to act like her usual cankerous self before dropping her off at Ron, that way she won't be the wiser about what we did and come kill us with kitchen knifes." Krieger said in a way that makes it sound rehearse "And that the story i'm sticking with."

"Alright..." Ray said, not quite believing it, but not going to question it so he can claim deniability. "Anywho, she's on the warpath looking for her idiot son. I don't know how long that zombie drug last but i suggest answering it on the first ring."

"Oh I ain't worried about that, I'll just hide in the se...side. Yes the seaside, and not a hidden bunker with ro- mance novels." Krieger said shiftily. "Anyway, gotta go, bye!" Krieger hanged up.

"... Why do I have a immense feeling of doom that going to hit us soon and in a dramatic matter... oh well I just hope it not me getting hurt physically this time." Ray muttered.


End file.
